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Dashing through the snow



I hate fuckin` christmas

Seems like it`s one big "have to do"

Seems like everybody that you meet on the street

Has been singin "halle-fuckin`-lujah"

Well, the mistletoe on the ceiling really

Makes me wanna do ya



Christmas it`s so hard to find cocaine

Now it seems I can`t get outta bed

All those dickheads in their white shirts on my T.V.

Singin` "Please don`t drink and drive"

Well, that`s pretty good advice

`Cause ya just might spill your drink



Christmas, it`s the time for stealing presents

Out from underneath your neighbor`s tree

Look`s like little Johnny just won`t get his

Teeneage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Well, I`d better wear a rubber

`Cause that turtle might be fertile



Today I think I`ll screw my brother`s girlfriend

All he ever does is go to work

When he goes downtown to buy the

Dead bird, who`s the fuckin` turkey?

I hate fuckin` christmas

Dashing through the snow



I hate fuckin` christmas

Seems like it`s one big "have to do"

Seems like everybody that you meet on the street

Has been singin "halle-fuckin`-lujah"

Well, the mistletoe on the ceiling really

Makes me wanna do ya



Christmas it`s so hard to find cocaine

Now it seems I can`t get outta bed

All those dickheads in their white shirts on my T.V.

Singin` "Please don`t drink and drive"

Well, that`s pretty good advice

`Cause ya just might spill your drink



Christmas, it`s the time for stealing presents

Out from underneath your neighbor`s tree

Look`s like little Johnny just won`t get his

Teeneage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Well, I`d better wear a rubber

`Cause that turtle might be fertile



Today I think I`ll screw my brother`s girlfriend

All he ever does is go to work

When he goes downtown to buy the

Dead bird, who`s the fuckin` turkey?

I hate fuckin` christmas

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