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Fourteen years

Thirty minutes

Fifteen seconds I`ve

Held this grudge



Eleven songs

Four full journals

Thoughts of punishment

I`ve expended



Not in contact

Not a letter

Such communication

Telepathic

You`ve been vilified

Used as fodder

You deserve a piece

Of every record



But who`s it hurting now?

Who`s the one that`s stuck?

Who`s it torturing now

With an antique knot in her stomach?



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

All this time I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Like an abandoned house

Dusty covered

Furniture

Still intact

If I visit it now

Will I simply re-live it

Somehow gratuitous



But who`s still aching now?

Who`s tired of her own voice?

Who is it weighing down

With no gift from time of said healing



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

All this time I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

Dead weight off my shoulders will rise



Here I sit

Much determined

Ever ill-equipped

To draw this curtain

How this has entertained

Validated

And has served me well

Ever the victim



But who`s done whining now?

Who`s ready to put down

This load I`ve carried longer than I had cared to remember



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

For the life of me I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us.

Fourteen years

Thirty minutes

Fifteen seconds I`ve

Held this grudge



Eleven songs

Four full journals

Thoughts of punishment

I`ve expended



Not in contact

Not a letter

Such communication

Telepathic

You`ve been vilified

Used as fodder

You deserve a piece

Of every record



But who`s it hurting now?

Who`s the one that`s stuck?

Who`s it torturing now

With an antique knot in her stomach?



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

All this time I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Like an abandoned house

Dusty covered

Furniture

Still intact

If I visit it now

Will I simply re-live it

Somehow gratuitous



But who`s still aching now?

Who`s tired of her own voice?

Who is it weighing down

With no gift from time of said healing



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

All this time I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

Dead weight off my shoulders will rise



Here I sit

Much determined

Ever ill-equipped

To draw this curtain

How this has entertained

Validated

And has served me well

Ever the victim



But who`s done whining now?

Who`s ready to put down

This load I`ve carried longer than I had cared to remember



I want to be big and let go

Of this grudge that`s grown old

For the life of me I`ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us.

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