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(Kinky Friedman)

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin` Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
“They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God`s only son.”

I said, “Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that`s not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.”
“You know, you don`t look Jewish,” he said, “near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.“

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin` and a-spittin` on the floor,
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore.”

He says, “I ain`t a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don`t need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops �n micks �n slopes �n spics �n spooks are on my list
And there`s one little hebe from the heart of Texas — is there anyone I missed ? ”

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, “I`m gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin` that pack of lies.
If there`s one thing I can`t abide, it`s an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said �bout Aristitle Onassis.”

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
“Lord, they sho` ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”
All right!

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain`t makin` carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin` as I strolled right out the door
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”

No, we ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin` as I strolled right out the door
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”

(Kinky Friedman)

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin` Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
“They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God`s only son.”

I said, “Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that`s not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.”
“You know, you don`t look Jewish,” he said, “near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.“

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin` and a-spittin` on the floor,
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore.”

He says, “I ain`t a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don`t need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops �n micks �n slopes �n spics �n spooks are on my list
And there`s one little hebe from the heart of Texas — is there anyone I missed ? ”

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, “I`m gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin` that pack of lies.
If there`s one thing I can`t abide, it`s an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said �bout Aristitle Onassis.”

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
“Lord, they sho` ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”
All right!

No, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain`t makin` carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin` as I strolled right out the door
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”

No, we ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don`t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin` as I strolled right out the door
“Lord, they ain`t makin` Jews like Jesus anymore!”

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