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A musical in three acts by XTC

Cast of characters

GRAHAM, a teenager

MOTHER, a busy housewife

FATHER, a conservative husband

POLICEMAN, a young constable

SCENE: A kitchen in suburbia, one bright Saturday morning

ACT ONE

Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the

line. Her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying

their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. Their

wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. A boy in blue is busy

banging out a headache on the kitchen door. All the while Graham

slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted

to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

ACT TWO

Narrator: The young policeman who just can`t grow a moustache will

open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of Asians who

have been so badly kicked.

Policeman: Is this your son`s wallet I`ve got here? He must have

dropped it after too much beer!

Mother: Oh, officer, we can`t believe our little angel is the one

you`ve picked.

Narrator: And all the while Graham slept on, dreaming of a world

where he could do just what he wanted to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

Narrator: They never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.

Policeman: They never read that tattoo on his arm.

Narrator: They thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.

Policeman: They never thought he`d do folks any harm.

ACT THREE

Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the

line. She`s singing something stale and simple now this business has

fizzled out. Her little tune is such a happy song. Her son is

innocent, he can`t do wrong, `cos Dad`s a judge and knows exactly what

the job of judging`s all about. And all the while Graham slept on,

dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

Mother: No thugs in our house!

Father: No thugs in our house!

Complete cast (in unison): No thugs in our house, dear!

Set Design by Andy Partridge with co-ordination by Ken Ansell.

Stage and Scenery by Art Dragon.

A musical in three acts by XTC

Cast of characters

GRAHAM, a teenager

MOTHER, a busy housewife

FATHER, a conservative husband

POLICEMAN, a young constable

SCENE: A kitchen in suburbia, one bright Saturday morning

ACT ONE

Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the

line. Her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying

their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. Their

wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. A boy in blue is busy

banging out a headache on the kitchen door. All the while Graham

slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted

to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

ACT TWO

Narrator: The young policeman who just can`t grow a moustache will

open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of Asians who

have been so badly kicked.

Policeman: Is this your son`s wallet I`ve got here? He must have

dropped it after too much beer!

Mother: Oh, officer, we can`t believe our little angel is the one

you`ve picked.

Narrator: And all the while Graham slept on, dreaming of a world

where he could do just what he wanted to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

Narrator: They never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.

Policeman: They never read that tattoo on his arm.

Narrator: They thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.

Policeman: They never thought he`d do folks any harm.

ACT THREE

Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the

line. She`s singing something stale and simple now this business has

fizzled out. Her little tune is such a happy song. Her son is

innocent, he can`t do wrong, `cos Dad`s a judge and knows exactly what

the job of judging`s all about. And all the while Graham slept on,

dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.

Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?

We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good

boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we

made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy.

Mother: No thugs in our house!

Father: No thugs in our house!

Complete cast (in unison): No thugs in our house, dear!

Set Design by Andy Partridge with co-ordination by Ken Ansell.

Stage and Scenery by Art Dragon.

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