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Heres one of the two of us

In 1954 dont laugh

I keep all of the pictures

Are you going to take a photograph

Heres something nice for you

A dear old thing came to a show

Last time here we did

An interview on local radio



Make yourself at home my darling

Come on in

Hand me down that jar love

Can I offer you a gin



Were proud to be the oldest

Ugly sisters in variety

Theres not the glamour now you see

What happened to society

Theres another light bulb gone

They dont all answer to the switch

I dont know how we carry on

And her she couldnt care the bitch



But in a while the old boys

In the band began to play

And in a while the houselights

And the curtains slide away



And somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

Somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day



Now the landladys all squared away

Its just a temporary deal

Im afraid tonight its take-away

You see there is no evening meal

Dont worry dear you shall go to the ball

I think the fairy said

These suitcases have seen it all

From under someone elses bed



You want to smile those tears away

Now dont you cry

You want to know what I say

I say never say die



cos somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

Somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

Heres one of the two of us

In 1954 dont laugh

I keep all of the pictures

Are you going to take a photograph

Heres something nice for you

A dear old thing came to a show

Last time here we did

An interview on local radio



Make yourself at home my darling

Come on in

Hand me down that jar love

Can I offer you a gin



Were proud to be the oldest

Ugly sisters in variety

Theres not the glamour now you see

What happened to society

Theres another light bulb gone

They dont all answer to the switch

I dont know how we carry on

And her she couldnt care the bitch



But in a while the old boys

In the band began to play

And in a while the houselights

And the curtains slide away



And somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

Somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day



Now the landladys all squared away

Its just a temporary deal

Im afraid tonight its take-away

You see there is no evening meal

Dont worry dear you shall go to the ball

I think the fairy said

These suitcases have seen it all

From under someone elses bed



You want to smile those tears away

Now dont you cry

You want to know what I say

I say never say die



cos somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

Somethings going to happen

To make your whole life better

Your whole life better one day

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