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+Pop Hates The Beatles
My daughter needs a new phonograph.
She wore out all the needles.
Besides, I broke the old one in half.
I hate the Beatles.
She says they have a Liverpool beat.
She says they used to play there.
Four nice kids from offa the street.
Why didn`t they stay there?
What is all the screaming about?
Fainting and swooning.
Sounds to me like their guitars
Could use a little tuning.
The boys are from the British Empire.
The British think they`re keen.
If that is what the British desire,
God Save The Queen.
No daughter of mine can push me around.
In my home I`m the master.
But when the British come into town,
Gad, what a disaster.
Little girls in sneakers and jeans.
Destroyed the territory.
`Twas like some of the gorier scenes
From West Side Story.
Of course my daughter had to go there.
The tickets are cheap, she hollers.
I was able to pick up a pair
For forty-seven dollars.
When the Beatles come on the stage,
They scream and shriek and cheer them.
Now I know why they`re such a rage,
It`s impossible to hear them.
Ringo is the one with the drum,
The others all play with him.
It shows you what a boy can become
Without a sense of rhythm.
There`s Beatle books and T-shirts and rings,
And one thing and another.
To buy my daughter all of these things,
I had to sell her brother.
Back in 1776
We fought the British then, folks.
Parents of America,
It`s time to do it again, folks.
When they come back, here`s how we`ll begin,
We`ll throw `em in Boston harbor.
But please, before we toss `em all in,
Let`s take `em to a barber.

+Pop Hates The Beatles
My daughter needs a new phonograph.
She wore out all the needles.
Besides, I broke the old one in half.
I hate the Beatles.
She says they have a Liverpool beat.
She says they used to play there.
Four nice kids from offa the street.
Why didn`t they stay there?
What is all the screaming about?
Fainting and swooning.
Sounds to me like their guitars
Could use a little tuning.
The boys are from the British Empire.
The British think they`re keen.
If that is what the British desire,
God Save The Queen.
No daughter of mine can push me around.
In my home I`m the master.
But when the British come into town,
Gad, what a disaster.
Little girls in sneakers and jeans.
Destroyed the territory.
`Twas like some of the gorier scenes
From West Side Story.
Of course my daughter had to go there.
The tickets are cheap, she hollers.
I was able to pick up a pair
For forty-seven dollars.
When the Beatles come on the stage,
They scream and shriek and cheer them.
Now I know why they`re such a rage,
It`s impossible to hear them.
Ringo is the one with the drum,
The others all play with him.
It shows you what a boy can become
Without a sense of rhythm.
There`s Beatle books and T-shirts and rings,
And one thing and another.
To buy my daughter all of these things,
I had to sell her brother.
Back in 1776
We fought the British then, folks.
Parents of America,
It`s time to do it again, folks.
When they come back, here`s how we`ll begin,
We`ll throw `em in Boston harbor.
But please, before we toss `em all in,
Let`s take `em to a barber.

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