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Let me tell you a story about scary Ned
Scariest guy to ever wet a bed
He had hands on his arms and eyes on his head
But they weren`t his

He`d go down to the market and try to scare the fish
He said that they bothered him, they weren`t his favorite dish
Then he`d go down to the highway and pretend that he was dead
That just the way he was, creepy scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

Ned loved Halloween cuz he didn`t need a mask
He`d steal the children`s candy, he didn`t even ask
He`d sit right down in front of them and then he`d start to eat
He`d tell them they were better off cuz that stuff can rot your teeth

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

A strange glow would come from his place late into the night
He`d watch T.V. `til the dawn, you know that ain`t right
If he started to get tired he`d rub sauerkraut on his head
That`s just the kind of guy he was, good old scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

He had a face his mother didn`t love
When people saw on the street they often said "Uughh!"
Sometimes late at night he`d walk alone
He`d be reciting stuff
Bad sounding stuff
Icky awful stuff
But when you got to know him, he weren`t so bad

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned
Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned [this repeats to end over talking- K]
He`s pretty scary
Scary Ned
Really scary
Scary Ned
He`s scary
Hence the name
Scary Ned
I saw him yesterday
He said "Hi"
I got scared
`Cause he`s
Scary Ned
If he weren`t scary
I supposed he`d be called
Like, Happy Ned
And who wants to hear a song about
Happy Ned (Happy Ned)

Let me tell you a story about scary Ned
Scariest guy to ever wet a bed
He had hands on his arms and eyes on his head
But they weren`t his

He`d go down to the market and try to scare the fish
He said that they bothered him, they weren`t his favorite dish
Then he`d go down to the highway and pretend that he was dead
That just the way he was, creepy scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

Ned loved Halloween cuz he didn`t need a mask
He`d steal the children`s candy, he didn`t even ask
He`d sit right down in front of them and then he`d start to eat
He`d tell them they were better off cuz that stuff can rot your teeth

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

A strange glow would come from his place late into the night
He`d watch T.V. `til the dawn, you know that ain`t right
If he started to get tired he`d rub sauerkraut on his head
That`s just the kind of guy he was, good old scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

He had a face his mother didn`t love
When people saw on the street they often said "Uughh!"
Sometimes late at night he`d walk alone
He`d be reciting stuff
Bad sounding stuff
Icky awful stuff
But when you got to know him, he weren`t so bad

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned
Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned

Ooohh oohhhhh Scary Ned [this repeats to end over talking- K]
He`s pretty scary
Scary Ned
Really scary
Scary Ned
He`s scary
Hence the name
Scary Ned
I saw him yesterday
He said "Hi"
I got scared
`Cause he`s
Scary Ned
If he weren`t scary
I supposed he`d be called
Like, Happy Ned
And who wants to hear a song about
Happy Ned (Happy Ned)

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