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by Townes Van Zandt



Well, I ain`t very big for twentyone

and it seems I never could have any good clean fun

cause every time I`d go outside some great big bully`d come along

he`d hit me in the face and he`d knock to the ground

and he`d start kickin` me all around

and that ain`t exactly fair, friends, that`s wrong.





So I got me a paper the other night

and I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light

and flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.

Said, "take karate from Lee Hung Chow;

man, make your first appointment now

this course is guaranteed to make you bad."





Well, the next day I drove to the address

by japanese design I was really impressed

it looked like a regular house of the rising sun.

I walked inside, I was all alone

I had a nervous feeling down in my bones

I was kind of sorry I`d ever even come.





Then a giant jap came through the door

he must have been about seven foot four

and he looked like he`s prone to easy aggrevation.

He said, "Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung"

that`s japanese for fee fie foo fum

I tried to explain my entire situation.





He said, "Number one course, yankee, self defence,

twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents";

I said "What`s the twentyfive cents for?" and he said, "Repairs."

I said, "Repairs to what?", and he said "To you"

and I thought to myself "Man, that won`t do"

felt about a half inch tall under that ol` slender stare





Ah, you think he was yellow...





I said, "I believe I better go check another place"

he said, "Ha so, Yankee don`t like my race"

I said, "Now, there`s a mistake, man, and that`s true;

I`ve been for you you japanese all along

you japanese just can`t do no wrong

and I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II."





Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave

I figured there`s a pretty good time to leave

before he had a chance to do me any definite harm.

But my plan worked out in the end, you see,

now no bully is gonna pick on me

who`s gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?

by Townes Van Zandt



Well, I ain`t very big for twentyone

and it seems I never could have any good clean fun

cause every time I`d go outside some great big bully`d come along

he`d hit me in the face and he`d knock to the ground

and he`d start kickin` me all around

and that ain`t exactly fair, friends, that`s wrong.





So I got me a paper the other night

and I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light

and flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.

Said, "take karate from Lee Hung Chow;

man, make your first appointment now

this course is guaranteed to make you bad."





Well, the next day I drove to the address

by japanese design I was really impressed

it looked like a regular house of the rising sun.

I walked inside, I was all alone

I had a nervous feeling down in my bones

I was kind of sorry I`d ever even come.





Then a giant jap came through the door

he must have been about seven foot four

and he looked like he`s prone to easy aggrevation.

He said, "Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung"

that`s japanese for fee fie foo fum

I tried to explain my entire situation.





He said, "Number one course, yankee, self defence,

twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents";

I said "What`s the twentyfive cents for?" and he said, "Repairs."

I said, "Repairs to what?", and he said "To you"

and I thought to myself "Man, that won`t do"

felt about a half inch tall under that ol` slender stare





Ah, you think he was yellow...





I said, "I believe I better go check another place"

he said, "Ha so, Yankee don`t like my race"

I said, "Now, there`s a mistake, man, and that`s true;

I`ve been for you you japanese all along

you japanese just can`t do no wrong

and I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II."





Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave

I figured there`s a pretty good time to leave

before he had a chance to do me any definite harm.

But my plan worked out in the end, you see,

now no bully is gonna pick on me

who`s gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?

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