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"Let`s meet contestant number one

He`s a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown

Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"

Let`s find out if his charm will work on Sharon

Sharon, what`s your question?"



"Contestant number one,

I believe first impressions last forever

So let`s say you were to come over to my parent`s house

And have dinner with me and my family

Tell me what you would do to make

That first impression really stick"



Let`s see, uh, well, I`d have to think about it

I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it

I`d probably just show up naked like I always do

And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"

Hurry up bitch, I`m hungry, I smell spaghetti

I`d pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"

Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed

I`d have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!

It`s dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother

I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother

I`m steady staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this

You know for only 13, she got some big tits

After that, your dad will try to jump again

And only this time, I`d put the forty to his chin

After you mom does the dishes and the silverware

I`d dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear



"Now, let`s me contestant number two

He`s a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak

Who works for the Dark Carnival

He says women call him stretch nuts

Sharon, let`s hear your question"



"I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions

A man who expresses himself in his own special way

Number two, if you fell in love with me

Exactly how would you let me know?"



First thing, I could never love you

You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!

But if I did, I`d probably show you that I care

By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here

I`d go through your phone book and whack em all

And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!)

Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay

I`d be blowing fucking nuggets off all day

I`d grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist

Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face

I`d sing love songs to you, the best I can

Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!

When we go to the beach and walk through the sand

I throw a little in your face and say, I`m just playin

As you spit it all out, I`d rub your back

And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!



"Well it sounds like contestant number two

Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon

It`s a touch choice so far

Sharon, let`s have your last question and

See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"



"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the

same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would

your pick up line be? Well, whoever`s the smoothest wins!"



Okay, first I`d slide up to the bar

And tell you that I can`t believe how fucking fat you are

I`d tell that I like the way you make your titties shake

And if you lost a little weight, you`d look like Rickie Lake!



Fuck that, you`d be jocking me quick

I`d order you a drink and stir it with my dick

And then to get your attention in the crowded place

I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face



Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that`ll get her

Tell her that`s she fat, yeah, that`ll work even better

Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap

Shit, you don`t want contestant number two

He`s mad-whack



I walk into a bar and there he was

Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it

It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama

Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!

"Let`s meet contestant number one

He`s a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown

Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"

Let`s find out if his charm will work on Sharon

Sharon, what`s your question?"



"Contestant number one,

I believe first impressions last forever

So let`s say you were to come over to my parent`s house

And have dinner with me and my family

Tell me what you would do to make

That first impression really stick"



Let`s see, uh, well, I`d have to think about it

I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it

I`d probably just show up naked like I always do

And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"

Hurry up bitch, I`m hungry, I smell spaghetti

I`d pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"

Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed

I`d have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!

It`s dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother

I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother

I`m steady staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this

You know for only 13, she got some big tits

After that, your dad will try to jump again

And only this time, I`d put the forty to his chin

After you mom does the dishes and the silverware

I`d dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear



"Now, let`s me contestant number two

He`s a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak

Who works for the Dark Carnival

He says women call him stretch nuts

Sharon, let`s hear your question"



"I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions

A man who expresses himself in his own special way

Number two, if you fell in love with me

Exactly how would you let me know?"



First thing, I could never love you

You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!

But if I did, I`d probably show you that I care

By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here

I`d go through your phone book and whack em all

And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!)

Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay

I`d be blowing fucking nuggets off all day

I`d grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist

Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face

I`d sing love songs to you, the best I can

Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!

When we go to the beach and walk through the sand

I throw a little in your face and say, I`m just playin

As you spit it all out, I`d rub your back

And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!



"Well it sounds like contestant number two

Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon

It`s a touch choice so far

Sharon, let`s have your last question and

See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"



"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the

same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would

your pick up line be? Well, whoever`s the smoothest wins!"



Okay, first I`d slide up to the bar

And tell you that I can`t believe how fucking fat you are

I`d tell that I like the way you make your titties shake

And if you lost a little weight, you`d look like Rickie Lake!



Fuck that, you`d be jocking me quick

I`d order you a drink and stir it with my dick

And then to get your attention in the crowded place

I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face



Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that`ll get her

Tell her that`s she fat, yeah, that`ll work even better

Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap

Shit, you don`t want contestant number two

He`s mad-whack



I walk into a bar and there he was

Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it

It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama

Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!

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