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[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]
Sandler: "Hey man, I`m joining a religious cult."
Allen: "Now, that`s ridiculous."
Sandler: "Well, I`m joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
Allen: "What are you talking about?"
Sandler: "Hey, don`t fuck me on this, man, just sign up."
Allen: "No, I`m not going to join a cult!"
Sandler: "I can`t believe you`re pulling this shit on me after Monday
night --"
Allen: "What?
Sandler: "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to
watch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!"
Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin` back to the game."
Sandler: "I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN` SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that`s
so fucking importnat you can`t join the religious cult with me?"
Allen: "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
Sandler: "Oh, boy, no no, I don`t think you should do that. Because this
guy, Russell -- he`s the leader-guy of the cult --"
Allen: "-- yeah --"
Sandler: "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun
being bad, like the beast can`t come out because the sun`s too bright
and the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned and
that guy`s gonna get pissed at you and me!"
Allen: "Well, I`m not in the cult, so I don`t have to worry about
pissing the leader guy off!"
Sandler: "Look, I`m -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult
guy`s been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense!
Allen: "Well, good, but I don`t want to join the cult. We can still hang
out; I just won`t be in it with you."
Sandler: "The point is, I`m not gonna have time to hang out with you
because I`m gonna be fuckin` busy with this fuckin` cult!"
Allen: "So I`ll visit on weekends -- we`ll work it out."
Sandler: "No, the weekends are like the busiest time -- that`s when we
go to flea malls and fuckin` malls and talk people into joining, man!"
Allen: "Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I`d go visit
him in Florida in three weeks."
Sandler: "Well, just, we`ll ask then, but we gotta join now."
Allen: "What`s the hurry?"
Sandler: "There`s a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuck`s your
problem?"
Allen: "Well, I mean I don`t really have to believe in this stuff, do
I?"
Sandler: "No, no, just fuckin` tell everybody you believe in this shit
-- when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin` hate
it too, long live the fuckin` beast."
Allen: "I don`t know, man. This is crazy."
Sandler: "Look, they`re gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you`re
gonna get food --"
Allen: "-- it`s not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"
Sandler: "It`s gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need a
haircut, they`re gonna fuckin` cut your hair. You`re going in, saving
twelve bucks, just fuckin` do it!"
Allen: "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"
Sandler: "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn`t, she`ll go out and recruit one
for you!"
Allen: "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don`t like it, I`m going to
escape, man."
Sandler: "OK, that`s up to you."
"Three weeks later!"
[Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time! The night time
is the right time!"
Sandler: "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
Allen: "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."
Sandler: "You`re not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are
you?"
Allen: "You know, it`s like they said. It was the only way to save him."
Sandler: "You`re a good guy."
Allen: "You`re a better one."
[Chanting resumes]

[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]
Sandler: "Hey man, I`m joining a religious cult."
Allen: "Now, that`s ridiculous."
Sandler: "Well, I`m joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
Allen: "What are you talking about?"
Sandler: "Hey, don`t fuck me on this, man, just sign up."
Allen: "No, I`m not going to join a cult!"
Sandler: "I can`t believe you`re pulling this shit on me after Monday
night --"
Allen: "What?
Sandler: "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to
watch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!"
Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin` back to the game."
Sandler: "I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN` SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that`s
so fucking importnat you can`t join the religious cult with me?"
Allen: "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
Sandler: "Oh, boy, no no, I don`t think you should do that. Because this
guy, Russell -- he`s the leader-guy of the cult --"
Allen: "-- yeah --"
Sandler: "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun
being bad, like the beast can`t come out because the sun`s too bright
and the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned and
that guy`s gonna get pissed at you and me!"
Allen: "Well, I`m not in the cult, so I don`t have to worry about
pissing the leader guy off!"
Sandler: "Look, I`m -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult
guy`s been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense!
Allen: "Well, good, but I don`t want to join the cult. We can still hang
out; I just won`t be in it with you."
Sandler: "The point is, I`m not gonna have time to hang out with you
because I`m gonna be fuckin` busy with this fuckin` cult!"
Allen: "So I`ll visit on weekends -- we`ll work it out."
Sandler: "No, the weekends are like the busiest time -- that`s when we
go to flea malls and fuckin` malls and talk people into joining, man!"
Allen: "Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I`d go visit
him in Florida in three weeks."
Sandler: "Well, just, we`ll ask then, but we gotta join now."
Allen: "What`s the hurry?"
Sandler: "There`s a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuck`s your
problem?"
Allen: "Well, I mean I don`t really have to believe in this stuff, do
I?"
Sandler: "No, no, just fuckin` tell everybody you believe in this shit
-- when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin` hate
it too, long live the fuckin` beast."
Allen: "I don`t know, man. This is crazy."
Sandler: "Look, they`re gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you`re
gonna get food --"
Allen: "-- it`s not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"
Sandler: "It`s gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need a
haircut, they`re gonna fuckin` cut your hair. You`re going in, saving
twelve bucks, just fuckin` do it!"
Allen: "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"
Sandler: "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn`t, she`ll go out and recruit one
for you!"
Allen: "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don`t like it, I`m going to
escape, man."
Sandler: "OK, that`s up to you."
"Three weeks later!"
[Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time! The night time
is the right time!"
Sandler: "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
Allen: "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."
Sandler: "You`re not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are
you?"
Allen: "You know, it`s like they said. It was the only way to save him."
Sandler: "You`re a good guy."
Allen: "You`re a better one."
[Chanting resumes]

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