Текст песни: Sandler Adam - Toll Booth Willie
[Car approaches]
Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please."
M1: "Hey, how ya doin` Toll Booth Willie?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"
M1: "Aww, that`s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin` idiot!"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I`ll come right
outta the booth and fuckin` whack ya, you fuckin` prick!"
[Another car approaches]
M2: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, can`t complain, pop. Hows `bout you?"
M2: "Oh, great, great. How much?"
Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
M2: "That`s fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the
quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin` hard on! I`ll fucking Carlton Fisk
yer fuckin` head with a Louise-ville fuckin` slugger! Whadya think of
that ass fuck!?"
[Another car approaches]
F1: "Hi Willie."
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, nice to see ya M`am. Not a bad day, huh?"
F1: "Well, I`m a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the
best with directions."
Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya
that much. So where ya headed?"
F1: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive
up your ass. You know, if you`d tell me, I`d appreciate it, you fuckin`
prick."
[Drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "You fuckin` bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the
fuckin` toll you dirty whore! I`ll fuckin` drop you with a boot to the
fuckin` skull you cum guzzling queen!"
[Another car approaches]
M3: "Hey Willie."
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, how are ya?"
M3: "Here`s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself."
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Dah, you fuckin` prick! I hope you choke on a
fuckin` bottle cap, ya fuckin` son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!"
[Another car approaches]
Bishop Nelson: "Hello Willie. Good to see you."
Toll Booth Willie: "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite
a sermon you had the other day."
Bishop Nelson: "Hey, well I do my best."
Toll Booth Willie: "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop."
Bishop Nelson: "Dollar twenty-five, Willie. Isn`t that the same price
your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin` lush! It`s not
my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin` douche bag!"
[Another car approaches]
M5: "Hey!"
Toll Booth Willie: "Well hey!"
M5: "Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters
directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin`
unoriginal bastard! Go suck a
corn you fuckin` piece of repeatin` shit!"
[Another car approaches]
F2: "Hi."
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, hi. How are ya?"
F2: "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?"
Toll Booth Willie: "For you sweetheart, it`s a dollar twenty-five."
F2: "Here ya go."
[Pays toll]
F2: "Thank you."
[Begins to drive off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with
that?"
F2: "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much."
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll Booth Willie: "And here ya are."
F2: "Umm, do you think you could sign it?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, uh.. sign it?"
F2: "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here."
Toll Booth Willie: "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?"
[Signing receipt]
F2: "Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest
fuckin` dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand."
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
Toll Booth Willie: "Fuck you, you fuckin` upity bitch! I`ll fuckin` fuck
you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin`
mothers! You`re gonna die, bitch! I`m comin` outta the booth!" [Opens
the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
Toll Booth Willie: "Ooooh! My fuckin` leg!"
M6: "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!"
M7: "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over
a dried up stinky dick licker."
Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin` pricks. I fuckin` hear every fuckin`
word yer saying!
When this fuckin` leg heals, I`m gonna kick you guys new fuckin`
assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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[Car approaches]
Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please."
M1: "Hey, how ya doin` Toll Booth Willie?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"
M1: "Aww, that`s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin` idiot!"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I`ll come right
outta the booth and fuckin` whack ya, you fuckin` prick!"
[Another car approaches]
M2: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, can`t complain, pop. Hows `bout you?"
M2: "Oh, great, great. How much?"
Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
M2: "That`s fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the
quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin` hard on! I`ll fucking Carlton Fisk
yer fuckin` head with a Louise-ville fuckin` slugger! Whadya think of
that ass fuck!?"
[Another car approaches]
F1: "Hi Willie."
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, nice to see ya M`am. Not a bad day, huh?"
F1: "Well, I`m a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the
best with directions."
Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya
that much. So where ya headed?"
F1: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive
up your ass. You know, if you`d tell me, I`d appreciate it, you fuckin`
prick."
[Drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "You fuckin` bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the
fuckin` toll you dirty whore! I`ll fuckin` drop you with a boot to the
fuckin` skull you cum guzzling queen!"
[Another car approaches]
M3: "Hey Willie."
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, how are ya?"
M3: "Here`s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself."
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Dah, you fuckin` prick! I hope you choke on a
fuckin` bottle cap, ya fuckin` son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!"
[Another car approaches]
Bishop Nelson: "Hello Willie. Good to see you."
Toll Booth Willie: "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite
a sermon you had the other day."
Bishop Nelson: "Hey, well I do my best."
Toll Booth Willie: "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop."
Bishop Nelson: "Dollar twenty-five, Willie. Isn`t that the same price
your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin` lush! It`s not
my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin` douche bag!"
[Another car approaches]
M5: "Hey!"
Toll Booth Willie: "Well hey!"
M5: "Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters
directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin`
unoriginal bastard! Go suck a
corn you fuckin` piece of repeatin` shit!"
[Another car approaches]
F2: "Hi."
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, hi. How are ya?"
F2: "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?"
Toll Booth Willie: "For you sweetheart, it`s a dollar twenty-five."
F2: "Here ya go."
[Pays toll]
F2: "Thank you."
[Begins to drive off]
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with
that?"
F2: "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much."
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll Booth Willie: "And here ya are."
F2: "Umm, do you think you could sign it?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, uh.. sign it?"
F2: "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here."
Toll Booth Willie: "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?"
[Signing receipt]
F2: "Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest
fuckin` dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand."
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
Toll Booth Willie: "Fuck you, you fuckin` upity bitch! I`ll fuckin` fuck
you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin`
mothers! You`re gonna die, bitch! I`m comin` outta the booth!" [Opens
the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
Toll Booth Willie: "Ooooh! My fuckin` leg!"
M6: "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!"
M7: "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over
a dried up stinky dick licker."
Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin` pricks. I fuckin` hear every fuckin`
word yer saying!
When this fuckin` leg heals, I`m gonna kick you guys new fuckin`
assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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The Longest Pee
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