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I want a new duck.

One that won`t try to bite.

One that won`t chew a hole in my socks.

One that won`t quack all night.

I want a new duck.

One with big webbed feet.

One that knows how to wash my car,

And keep his room real neat.

One that won`t raid the ice box.

One that`ll stay in shape.

One that`s never gonna try

To migrate or escape,

Or I`ll tie him up with duck tape.

I want a new duck.

A mallard, I think.

One that won`t make a mess of my house,

Or build a nest in the bathroom sink.

I want a new duck.

One that won`t steal my beer.

One that won`t stick his bill in my mail.

One that knows "The duck stops here."

One that won`t drive me crazy

Waddling all around.

One who`ll teach me how to swim,

And help me not to drown.

And show me how to get down.

"How to get down", baby. Get it?

(quack, quack, quack, quack, quack)

I want a new duck.

Not a swan or a goose.

Just a drake I can dress real cute.

Think I`m gonna name him Bruce.

I want a new duck.

Not a quail or an owl.

One that won`t molt too much.

One that won`t smell too foul.

One that won`t beg for breadcrumbs,

Hangin` around all day.

He`d better mind his manners.

Better do just what I say,

Or he`s gonna be duck pate`.

Duck pate`, yeah yeah.

I want a new duck.

One that won`t try to bite.

One that won`t chew a hole in my socks.

One that won`t quack all night.

I want a new duck.

One with big webbed feet.

One that knows how to wash my car,

And keep his room real neat.

One that won`t raid the ice box.

One that`ll stay in shape.

One that`s never gonna try

To migrate or escape,

Or I`ll tie him up with duck tape.

I want a new duck.

A mallard, I think.

One that won`t make a mess of my house,

Or build a nest in the bathroom sink.

I want a new duck.

One that won`t steal my beer.

One that won`t stick his bill in my mail.

One that knows "The duck stops here."

One that won`t drive me crazy

Waddling all around.

One who`ll teach me how to swim,

And help me not to drown.

And show me how to get down.

"How to get down", baby. Get it?

(quack, quack, quack, quack, quack)

I want a new duck.

Not a swan or a goose.

Just a drake I can dress real cute.

Think I`m gonna name him Bruce.

I want a new duck.

Not a quail or an owl.

One that won`t molt too much.

One that won`t smell too foul.

One that won`t beg for breadcrumbs,

Hangin` around all day.

He`d better mind his manners.

Better do just what I say,

Or he`s gonna be duck pate`.

Duck pate`, yeah yeah.

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