Текст песни: Too Short - Freaky Tales
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
The tales that I tell so well...
I met this girl, her name was Joan
She loved the way I rocked the microphone
When I met Joan, I took her home
She was just like a doggy all on my bone
I met another girl, her name was Ann
All she wanted was to freak with a man
When I met Ann, I soked her pans
We ended up freakin` by garbage can
The next young freak I met was Red
I took her to the house and she gave me head
She likes to freak was all she said
We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
There`s another girl, her name is Mary
Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
I heard she was freakin` for my homeboy Jerry
Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
Young and tender, sweet Denise
Get her in the bed and the girl`s a beast
I tell you, homeboy, If you get a piece
She only talks about signin` a lease
I met this tender, her name was Lori
And a X-rated movie wouldn`t tell her story
She had a twinsister, her name was Lisa
And just like Lori, she`s a real dick pleaser
My girlfriend`s name was Michelle, I freaked her well
Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
I geed this girl, her name was Tammy
I didn`t wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy
She had a best friend, her name was Jane
I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
Freaked one night with a girl named Pam
The very next day I saw her with her man
One week passed and I was in her again
I had an old tender, her name was Janie
She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
She likes to freak, she`s just a fiend
It really didn`t matter when I saw her in jeans
I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
I kick on back and I watch her mouth
Two tons of fun, big mama jama
A country-girl from Alabama
I met this girl, her name was Betty
Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death
I was tired as hell, I was drippin` sweat
But I was all up in her tryin` to hold my breath
Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas
She said her name was Donna
She was a pitty little freak from China
I said I don`t pimp or gigolo
I`m havin` so much money that I don`t need a hoe
You can break yourself but you can`t break me
You never met a player like $hort, baby
I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo
Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
The girl got freaky and I tell you more:
She was down on her knees beggin` to blow
She`s like another freak named Ren`
You get her alone and she`ll make your day
Like Burger King, she knows the play
But a freak like Ren`, you can have it your way...
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
These are the tales that I tell so well...
I met this girl, thick as hell
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
I took her to my house, I could not wait
Her shit was much tighter than Central Safe
Let me tell you this since we talkin` young
I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne
Always talkin` about havin` fun
Once again in the bed I got it goin` on
I`m Sir Too $hort, couldn`t be no punk
I try to get funky like female funk
So when you see me comin` or see me goin`
I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin`
I once met a tender, she did it for free
On the Foothill bust number forty-three
All the way on the back she was workin` me
Had my big beatbox and I was jammin` the beat
I met this freak named aunt Winell
Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
Everythin` she had is what I get
Cause I`m Too $hort, baby, I don`t play that shit
I met another freak, her name was Rita
Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
I told her like this, she can suck my peter
Or even go home cause I knew I didn`t need her
Scratched her name off my telephone book
Never again I took a second look
Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon
She kept lookin`, well, I kept stairin`
Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin`
She never left, she cutted out
I know you all know what I`m talkin` about
There`s a freak named Shane, such a sinner
She smokes that pipe and she`s gettin` thinner
Shane is cool but her mind is gone
One fat rock and it`s goin` on
She had another buddy, came by my place
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
She walked in the door wearin` a lace
You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
She`s like this tender named Belinda
Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
She gave head like she made it up
She was twenty years old with a big round butt
Had a girl slick like olive oil
Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
When she got mad he blood would boil
But I rapped her off like I`m lookin` a toy...
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
The tales that I tell so well...
Shockedy life, Friday night, it`s goin` on Too $hort
Three weeks ago I met this freak
She followed me around like Mary`s sheep
I hitted around the corner and when she came
I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
She said it was Nina and her man`s in Santa Rita
I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her
Set her on the way the very next way
Playboy $hort was ready to play
I bumped to this girl, her name was Roseanne
We hitted the motel and got it goin` on
Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
I knew this tender named Shanie
I took her to the house and let her freak on me
Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
But I wouldn`t raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
I met this freak named Yolanda
Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
I was on top and she was up under
The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
I once had a datewith girl named Kitty
She was so fine with big fat tiddies
All night long she was actin` shitty
So i macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti
There`s another girl, her name is Rose
I use to roll baby like brand new Volvos
I never saw Rose wearin` clothes
She`s a pimp house pet, ready to pose
I was ridin` down the street when I met Janet
Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
Ass everywhere, I just can`t stand it
Tried to poem it but I could not manage
I had this freak, her name was Bunny
Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
Everythin` I did to her was funny
I macked on bunny and I took her money
Eight tonight a date with Shirlie
She was really short and her hair was curly
If you saw baby you liked this girlie
She was so fine I went to get her early
Shirlie was freakin` like a girl named Rachel
Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
She liked to kiss all on my neval
Those are her lips on top of my label
I knew another freak, her name was Candy
Real big lips and they came in handy
I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
I hooked the brood up with my homeboy Randy
He did me a favor in return
Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
Baby got tossed and I got it on
I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
My young homeboy heard me rap
And said he had way more freaks than that
So I told him like this: they might be freakin`
But, boy, you never had that T-P-Treatment...
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These are the tales, the freaky tales...
The tales that I tell so well...
I met this girl, her name was Joan
She loved the way I rocked the microphone
When I met Joan, I took her home
She was just like a doggy all on my bone
I met another girl, her name was Ann
All she wanted was to freak with a man
When I met Ann, I soked her pans
We ended up freakin` by garbage can
The next young freak I met was Red
I took her to the house and she gave me head
She likes to freak was all she said
We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
There`s another girl, her name is Mary
Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
I heard she was freakin` for my homeboy Jerry
Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
Young and tender, sweet Denise
Get her in the bed and the girl`s a beast
I tell you, homeboy, If you get a piece
She only talks about signin` a lease
I met this tender, her name was Lori
And a X-rated movie wouldn`t tell her story
She had a twinsister, her name was Lisa
And just like Lori, she`s a real dick pleaser
My girlfriend`s name was Michelle, I freaked her well
Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
I geed this girl, her name was Tammy
I didn`t wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy
She had a best friend, her name was Jane
I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
Freaked one night with a girl named Pam
The very next day I saw her with her man
One week passed and I was in her again
I had an old tender, her name was Janie
She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
She likes to freak, she`s just a fiend
It really didn`t matter when I saw her in jeans
I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
I kick on back and I watch her mouth
Two tons of fun, big mama jama
A country-girl from Alabama
I met this girl, her name was Betty
Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death
I was tired as hell, I was drippin` sweat
But I was all up in her tryin` to hold my breath
Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas
She said her name was Donna
She was a pitty little freak from China
I said I don`t pimp or gigolo
I`m havin` so much money that I don`t need a hoe
You can break yourself but you can`t break me
You never met a player like $hort, baby
I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo
Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
The girl got freaky and I tell you more:
She was down on her knees beggin` to blow
She`s like another freak named Ren`
You get her alone and she`ll make your day
Like Burger King, she knows the play
But a freak like Ren`, you can have it your way...
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
These are the tales that I tell so well...
I met this girl, thick as hell
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
I took her to my house, I could not wait
Her shit was much tighter than Central Safe
Let me tell you this since we talkin` young
I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne
Always talkin` about havin` fun
Once again in the bed I got it goin` on
I`m Sir Too $hort, couldn`t be no punk
I try to get funky like female funk
So when you see me comin` or see me goin`
I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin`
I once met a tender, she did it for free
On the Foothill bust number forty-three
All the way on the back she was workin` me
Had my big beatbox and I was jammin` the beat
I met this freak named aunt Winell
Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
Everythin` she had is what I get
Cause I`m Too $hort, baby, I don`t play that shit
I met another freak, her name was Rita
Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
I told her like this, she can suck my peter
Or even go home cause I knew I didn`t need her
Scratched her name off my telephone book
Never again I took a second look
Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon
She kept lookin`, well, I kept stairin`
Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin`
She never left, she cutted out
I know you all know what I`m talkin` about
There`s a freak named Shane, such a sinner
She smokes that pipe and she`s gettin` thinner
Shane is cool but her mind is gone
One fat rock and it`s goin` on
She had another buddy, came by my place
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
She walked in the door wearin` a lace
You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
She`s like this tender named Belinda
Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
She gave head like she made it up
She was twenty years old with a big round butt
Had a girl slick like olive oil
Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
When she got mad he blood would boil
But I rapped her off like I`m lookin` a toy...
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
The tales that I tell so well...
Shockedy life, Friday night, it`s goin` on Too $hort
Three weeks ago I met this freak
She followed me around like Mary`s sheep
I hitted around the corner and when she came
I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
She said it was Nina and her man`s in Santa Rita
I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her
Set her on the way the very next way
Playboy $hort was ready to play
I bumped to this girl, her name was Roseanne
We hitted the motel and got it goin` on
Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
I knew this tender named Shanie
I took her to the house and let her freak on me
Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
But I wouldn`t raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
I met this freak named Yolanda
Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
I was on top and she was up under
The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
I once had a datewith girl named Kitty
She was so fine with big fat tiddies
All night long she was actin` shitty
So i macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti
There`s another girl, her name is Rose
I use to roll baby like brand new Volvos
I never saw Rose wearin` clothes
She`s a pimp house pet, ready to pose
I was ridin` down the street when I met Janet
Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
Ass everywhere, I just can`t stand it
Tried to poem it but I could not manage
I had this freak, her name was Bunny
Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
Everythin` I did to her was funny
I macked on bunny and I took her money
Eight tonight a date with Shirlie
She was really short and her hair was curly
If you saw baby you liked this girlie
She was so fine I went to get her early
Shirlie was freakin` like a girl named Rachel
Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
She liked to kiss all on my neval
Those are her lips on top of my label
I knew another freak, her name was Candy
Real big lips and they came in handy
I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
I hooked the brood up with my homeboy Randy
He did me a favor in return
Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
Baby got tossed and I got it on
I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
My young homeboy heard me rap
And said he had way more freaks than that
So I told him like this: they might be freakin`
But, boy, you never had that T-P-Treatment...
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Еще тексты песен: Too Short
2 Bitches
Ain`t No Bitches
Ain`t Nuthin Like Pimpin
All My Bitches Are Gone
All the Time
Analyze the Game
Anything is Possible
Baby D
Bad Ways
Be My Dirty Love
Blow Job Betty
Blowjob Betty
Bonus Track
Burn Rubber
Buy You Some
Call Me
Call Me (featuring Lil` Kim)
Call Me Daddy
Can I Get A Bitch
Can I Hit It
Candy Paint
Can`t Stay Away
Can`t Stay Away (Can`t Stay Away )
Can`t Stop
Chase the Cat
City of Dope
Cocktales
Cocktales (radio edit)
Coke Dealers
Coming Up $hort
Couldn`t be a Better Player
Cusswords
Dead or Alive
Domestic Violence
Don`t Even Stop
Don`t Ever Give Up
Don`t Fight the Feeling
Don`t Fight the Intro
Don`t Fuck for Free
Don`t Hate the Player
Dope Fiend Beat
Everytime
Female Funk
Female Players
Fire
Freaky Tales
From Here to New York
Fuck My Car
Funk Session
Game
Get In Where You Fit In
Get It
Get That Cheese
Gettin` It
Girl
Givin up the Funk
Good Life
Gotta Get Some Lovin`
Hard on the Boulevard
Here We Go (Jd Remix)
Hoes
Hoochie
How Does It Feel
I Ain`t Nothin But a Dog
I Ain`t Trippin
I Don`t Stop Rappin
I Know You Love Her
I Know You Love Her (featuring Slink Cap
I Luv
I Must Confess
I Need a Freak
I Want to Be Free
I Want to Be Free (That`s the Truth)
In the Oaktown
In The Studio
In the Trunk
Intro: Shorty the Pimp
Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches
It Don`t Stop
Its a Cold Day
It`s A Cold Day (featuring George Clinto
It`s a Cold Day (The Funk Wit U Nix)
It`s About That Money
It`s All Good
It`s Alright
It`s Alright (featuring UGK)
It`s Your Life
I`m a Playa
Just Anotha Day
Just Like Dope
Keep Fuckin` Me
Late Night Creep
Leave It Alone
Life is Too $hort
Life is... Too Short
Little Girls
Longevity
Mack Attack
Money In The Ghetto
More Freaky Tales
Nasty Rhymes
Never Talk Down
No Love From Oakland
Nobody Does It Better
Oakland
Oakland Style
Old School
Only The Strong Survive
Paula & Janet
Paula Janet
Paystyle
Pimp Life
Pimp Me
Pimp Shit
Pimp the Ho
Pimpology
Playboy $hort
Player For Life
Players
Punk Bitch
Rap Like Me
Raw, Uncut and X-Rated
Rhymes
Sample The Funk
Set Up
Shake That Monkey (featuring Lil` Jon)
She Know
She Loves Her
Short But Funky
Short Dog`s in the House
Short Rap
Slink Capone: Nation Riders
So You Want to Be a Gangster
Somethin to Ride To
Step Daddy
Still Strugglin`
Survivin` the Game
Take My Bitch
Talkin` Shit
Tell The Feds
Thangs Change
That`s Why
The Bitch Sucks Dick
The Dangerous Crew
The Ghetto
These Are the Tales
This How We Eat
Top Down
Triple X
Way Too Real
We Do This
What Happened To The Groupies
What The Fuck You Gonna Do
Where They At?
You Know What I Mean
You Might Get G`eed
You Nasty
Ain`t No Bitches
Ain`t Nuthin Like Pimpin
All My Bitches Are Gone
All the Time
Analyze the Game
Anything is Possible
Baby D
Bad Ways
Be My Dirty Love
Blow Job Betty
Blowjob Betty
Bonus Track
Burn Rubber
Buy You Some
Call Me
Call Me (featuring Lil` Kim)
Call Me Daddy
Can I Get A Bitch
Can I Hit It
Candy Paint
Can`t Stay Away
Can`t Stay Away (Can`t Stay Away )
Can`t Stop
Chase the Cat
City of Dope
Cocktales
Cocktales (radio edit)
Coke Dealers
Coming Up $hort
Couldn`t be a Better Player
Cusswords
Dead or Alive
Domestic Violence
Don`t Even Stop
Don`t Ever Give Up
Don`t Fight the Feeling
Don`t Fight the Intro
Don`t Fuck for Free
Don`t Hate the Player
Dope Fiend Beat
Everytime
Female Funk
Female Players
Fire
Freaky Tales
From Here to New York
Fuck My Car
Funk Session
Game
Get In Where You Fit In
Get It
Get That Cheese
Gettin` It
Girl
Givin up the Funk
Good Life
Gotta Get Some Lovin`
Hard on the Boulevard
Here We Go (Jd Remix)
Hoes
Hoochie
How Does It Feel
I Ain`t Nothin But a Dog
I Ain`t Trippin
I Don`t Stop Rappin
I Know You Love Her
I Know You Love Her (featuring Slink Cap
I Luv
I Must Confess
I Need a Freak
I Want to Be Free
I Want to Be Free (That`s the Truth)
In the Oaktown
In The Studio
In the Trunk
Intro: Shorty the Pimp
Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches
It Don`t Stop
Its a Cold Day
It`s A Cold Day (featuring George Clinto
It`s a Cold Day (The Funk Wit U Nix)
It`s About That Money
It`s All Good
It`s Alright
It`s Alright (featuring UGK)
It`s Your Life
I`m a Playa
Just Anotha Day
Just Like Dope
Keep Fuckin` Me
Late Night Creep
Leave It Alone
Life is Too $hort
Life is... Too Short
Little Girls
Longevity
Mack Attack
Money In The Ghetto
More Freaky Tales
Nasty Rhymes
Never Talk Down
No Love From Oakland
Nobody Does It Better
Oakland
Oakland Style
Old School
Only The Strong Survive
Paula & Janet
Paula Janet
Paystyle
Pimp Life
Pimp Me
Pimp Shit
Pimp the Ho
Pimpology
Playboy $hort
Player For Life
Players
Punk Bitch
Rap Like Me
Raw, Uncut and X-Rated
Rhymes
Sample The Funk
Set Up
Shake That Monkey (featuring Lil` Jon)
She Know
She Loves Her
Short But Funky
Short Dog`s in the House
Short Rap
Slink Capone: Nation Riders
So You Want to Be a Gangster
Somethin to Ride To
Step Daddy
Still Strugglin`
Survivin` the Game
Take My Bitch
Talkin` Shit
Tell The Feds
Thangs Change
That`s Why
The Bitch Sucks Dick
The Dangerous Crew
The Ghetto
These Are the Tales
This How We Eat
Top Down
Triple X
Way Too Real
We Do This
What Happened To The Groupies
What The Fuck You Gonna Do
Where They At?
You Know What I Mean
You Might Get G`eed
You Nasty